


Hansel and Gretal Retold

by nephilimchylde (alienacolyte)



Category: Hänsel und Gretel | Hansel and Gretel (Fairy Tale)
Genre: Fairy tale retelling, Vore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:21:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21752164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alienacolyte/pseuds/nephilimchylde
Summary: A simple retelling of Hansel and Gretal





	Hansel and Gretal Retold

Once upon a time, there was a poor woodcutter and he had two children. He told the children to tend to the house while he went to work to cut wood. The children were normally obedient and did what they were told but the little boy, who we can call Hansel, was complaining to his sister Gretal about being hungry. There was nothing to eat in the house and he was starving. 

Gretal had to admit that she was hungry too. The sun was setting and their father was nowhere to be found, he was usually home by now. So she went to the pantry and grabbed a loaf of molding bread. “Come along, brother. Let’s go find father.”

“What good is that moldy bread going to do us, sister?”

“It will signal our trail so we can make it back home."

“Oh, good idea, what happens when the birds eat our trail?” Hansel retorted sarcastically.

“Hey shut it, lead pipe, do you have any better ideas on how to make sure we don’t get lost?”

Hansel was about to open his mouth to speak, when Gretal interrupted him, “I didn’t think so, so let’s go, shall we?”

“Can’t we wait till morning to look, it might be a smarter idea to wait til--”

“No! Father could be hurt. If we wait till morning, he could be dead. Do you want father to be dead?”

“Well no, but I don’t want to be dead either."

“Shut up and grab your coat and let’s go.”

And so off they went. 

Gretal dropped bread crumbs as they walked and Hansel held the oil lamp as they walked in the deep dark forest, listening to the wildlife making noises and moving about, they did their best to not be scared.

Right around midnight, they came across an abandoned pile of wood. With an ax.

“Oh no, father’s ax?! See someone must have kidnapped him!”

“Grown-ups don’t get kidnapped, Gretal, but it is suspicious that he left his ax and all this wood behind. Oh look, what’s that over there?” Hansel squinted toward the horizon. There was what looked like smoke coming out of a small hut. 

“Do you smell that? It smells like meat.”

“It does. And I’m still starving.”

“Come on, maybe they have enough to share.”

And so the two children ran toward the hut and stopped once they got to the gate. “Oh no, Hansel, do you realize where we are?”

“Old Witch Hannerbee’s place”

“Should we still go inside?”

“I’m starving. But what if she tries to eat us instead?”

“She won’t. Not as long as I have father’s ax!”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean we can chop her up and eat her instead. She’s got it made with this garden and the stream if we kill her and eat her. We can take over her house and live like royalty, never feeling hungry again.”

“Hmm, that’s a good idea …. How’s the best way to put it to action?”

So the twins sat outside by a tree and hatched their elaborate plan to kill the witch and steal her house.

*

“Old lady Hannerbee, Old lady Hannerbee, let us in, let us in!!!” they wailed as they beat on her door.

A crotchety old hag opened the door and glared down at the twins. “Well, well what have we here? Two little morsels banging at my door! What do you want?!”

“We’re tired and hungry. We’ve run all this way to find our poor father the woodcutter, and we need a place to rest before we can continue looking for him.”

“Oh, I see, And you came to me, old lady Hannerbee, and hoped I’d show you some kindness, eh?”

“Please oh please, Madam, just one night and we’ll be gone away from you forever, please!” Hansel pleaded, holding the ax behind his back.

Old lady Hannerbee could never deny a child so she sighed heavily and opened the door wider. “Oh. alright. Come on in. Only one night, mind you. Then away you go!”

“Oh thank you, kind lady, thank you ever so much!” Gretal fawned. And as they walked inside. Hansel clocked the old lady in the head with the ax til she toppled over with a gash oozing blood.

Gretal closed the door and they proceeded to murder the old woman in cold blood. Then they took the chopped bits and store them in jars with salt for later. They found their father in a cage in the basement, fatter than they remembered. And a stew brewing in the fireplace cauldron with some rabbit meat and carrots. 

“Oh, father. We’re so glad we found you!” Gretal swooned. 

“Children. How on earth?!”

“We took care of the old lady. Father. This place is ours now. The garden, the stream, everything. All ours”

“Oh, you most marvelous children. Thank you for saving our lives. What would I do without you?”

“You’d be in a stew seasoned with paprika, garlic, and some cabbage.”

And they all had a laugh at that. And from that day on, they lived happily ever after!


End file.
